Traveling With Lola

When contemplating what to write about Dublin, I was at a loss. It took 10 days of reflection after the Dublin trip before I was finally able to bring this post to fruition.  To begin with, after a not-very-well put together itinerary, I arrived in the Temple Bar District to search for my hostel after a late flight on a Friday night, kicking off my long weekend in this Irish city. The Temple Bar District is known to be ultra-touristy and is a drinking hotspot for partiers all around. On the bus ride from the airport, I was serenaded on the bus by a drunk (or maybe just happy?) group of young Irish guys, kicking off what turned out for me to be a long weekend of frustration, fear, and FOMO (fear of missing out). 

For $50 a night, my run-down hostel provided a smelly and noisy flatmate, the incorrect bed assignment followed by a wake up at midnight to sort out the said mistake on their end, and sassy, minimally helpful employees (but also free breakfast!). 

I spent the next day struggling to navigate the Irish transportation system and realizing their public transport systems don’t accept a tap-to-pay with a card and only accept Leap passes. Within 24 hours I also realized tickets to the Book of Kells and the Guinness Storehouse were sold out and I planned too late to take a free walking tour my first day, my typical travel habit to help me get oriented in a city. After again being denied access to a train to travel to a smaller coastal city for the evening, I quietly slinked away and did what any sensible traveler would do: I had a breakdown. 

I struggled to repress my welling tears until I made it back to my hostel. My sadness was an overwhelming, deep sickness that makes your stomach feel heavy. And I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was so sad. I called one of my moms to try to sort out my overwhelming guilt about being away from home, my fear that I made a mistake about long term travel, and my disappointment that I wasn’t doing enough in Dublin, yet already overwhelmed by what I had seen. As she always does, Shannon talked me down and helped me realize that I needed to shift my perspective and take some time to reflect on everything I’d seen so far.

She was right of course. I knew everything was fine, but the pressure of only having a couple of days in Dublin, combined with my weary body and mind were overwhelming to my travel experience in the city so far. And I felt like no matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to find or do that thing in Dublin. What was that thing? I don’t know, going to the Guinness Brewhouse? Taking a boat cruise along the river? I have no idea but it felt like I was looking for something on this trip to point to and say “that’s what I loved about Dublin” or “you have to try this when you go there.” My fear was in not finding something that made me love the city– because what kind of traveler would I be without enjoying my travel to a place?!

My sadness was also driven by the fact that at its core, Dublin is a party city. My hostel failed to produce a group of pub-goers for me to tag along with and it was difficult to listen to the partiers yelling and laughing through the perpetually opened hostel window without feeling a tad left out. 

But as I sat in my hostel for the rest of the afternoon resting and reflecting I realized that all of those fears didn’t matter. Travel is never about doing everything in a city or even seeing “highlights.” You can’t check off a city based on the activities you rushed through or the Instagrammed spots you visited. You can never say you’ve “done” a city in a visit of a month, week, or definitely not a couple days. Kicking the bucket list is realizing that the best things about travel may not be the place itself but the lessons you learn along the way. And that’s when I realized that though my time was short, my favorite thing about Dublin wasn’t the places I went, monuments I saw, and definitely not where I stayed. My favorite thing about Dublin was the people I met. 

In my hostel, a German woman named Katharina was my bunkmate and new breakfast companion. She had my back when the hostel manager said I would need to change rooms (after their mistake) and she told them it made no sense that I would have to change rooms, as it would be easier on everyone to stay put, since all the rooms were identical. She entertained me with stories of being a woman in the male-dominated systems-management field, her time as an Au-Pair in Norway, where to go in Germany for Oktoberfest, and the downfalls of the American healthcare system (to which I adamantly agreed). We agreed to send each other postcards during our future travels and are still in contact.

Then there was Elaine. A fun-loving and lively woman from Australia, I knew I liked her when she told me and our free-walking tour guide about how she “got rid of the husband, so I’m living my best life now,” with a laugh. She plays Polo on horseback, is an active swing dancer, goes out every weekend with her friends, and dated a multi-millionaire after her divorce (who was eventually accused of tax fraud). She still has the car he bought her. 

We met on a free walking tour on my last day in Dublin and we spent the afternoon exploring museums. She asked if I wanted to go to the pub before her dinner show that evening. I agreed, happy to spend more time with this fascinating woman and she picked the most lively party pub in the Temple Bar district, complete with a live band. As we said our goodbyes, she invited me to stay with her when I’m in Australia. She was absolutely lovely and I fully intend to visit her (and I’m hoping she will teach me Polo). 

And this is why I’m grateful for Dublin. While the atmosphere of the city is better built for slow travel or friends party weekends in my opinion, I am reminded that I am not going to be in love with everywhere I travel. Travel isn’t about those “must-do” bucket list experiences (because we know how I feel about bucket lists). Travel is about those little things that stand out to us about a new place and the lessons we learn about ourselves and other people along the way. And my first visit to Ireland taught me that sometimes it’s the people that you meet along the way that will stick with you longer than the place. 

That’s the point of kicking the bucket list. 

P.S. Do yourself a favor and order a Guinness with Black Currant Juice next time you’re at a pub. This was recommended to me by a local and it is fantastic.